Sky falls

Sometimes the sky does fall
Crashing down
A million tiny pieces
And there is no way to fix the looking glass to hide the flaws
So the rain pours
And your chest hurts from the weight your heart has carried
And your fingertips bleed from the many times you tried to sweep away the pain of your brokenness
And your knees
Oh God
Your knees are raw from all the times you prayed to see the sun shine through the shattered bits of sky
The bits of sky you still see when you look up
The bits that remind you of the beginning
When it was all brand new
The bits that bend the sunlight as the rays pass through
And like a prism, scatter the beams
Leaving rainbows in unexpected places
A laugh overheard as you make your way down the aisle of a familiar store
The wag of a shaggy dog’s tail as he runs to greet you at the door
Hope that someday,
Someday maybe
You’ll feel brand new again.

After hearing Jane Fonda

I recently listened to a podcast that had me wondering why it takes so long for us to accept who we ARE and in that acceptance LOVE ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin. It’s elusive, this “be who you are because you are the only you” that is sold to us in so many self-esteem promoting “messages”. The “love you” messages are lost, mainly I think, because we are told so often that who we are isn’t “right” or enough. Bombarded with messages of inadequacy actually. Just turn on the television or open up an magazine and you’re there. So you spend your childhood feeling insecure and your teen years feeling ridiculous and your 20s feeling like you still can’t compare and so it goes into your 30s, 40s…and on and on if you don’t come to grips with who you are. The words of Jane Fonda in this podcast resonated as I listened. I am 41 and only now feeling like I can be who I am, Lisa, with no fear. She says in the podcast that she didn’t feel that way, like she could just be Jane, until she was in her 60s. I can’t imagine. I thought 40s was late! I always admire people who seem to get to this point earlier on in life. I’m so grateful that I’m here. I made it to the point where I can look in the mirror and embrace every aspect of me. And oh I am so looking forward to growing more fully and completely into this feeling of freedom. Because it is extremely freeing to just be me. As I contemplated the podcast earlier today, this came to mind so I wrote it down to share with whoever might stumble upon this blog post:

Being yourself means accepting the ugliest parts of you with the knowledge that they can become the most beautiful through your own WILLINGNESS to metamorphose – to, just like the caterpillar, do the WORK necessary to transform – no longer to crawl, but to fly.

What a feeling it is, to fly!

You can listen to the podcast here:


Free form verse I wrote awhile ago, and thought I’d share.

In every house
there is a soul
Some tame, some wild
But souls nonetheless
With tales to tell
Secrets only the listener knows
Raw truths marked only by the passage of time
The lines soft and welcoming
Like wrinkles in an old woman’s smile
Scars on that pristine facade
Passersby see and judge
But never feel
They never know how the strong winds have ripped at its bones
How fire licked softly at its skin and turned the white picket fence to ash
Yet it remains
As promising as a newborn’s cry as dawn breaks upon its beloved head
Its foundation made a fortress through the pain
Standing silently under a cloudless blue sky
Waiting only for its master
To come home

Random, because I miss you

I see you in the strangest places
A parking lot
A crowded mall
A child’s smile

And I realize…I miss you
And I realize it doesn’t matter

Fall wind still blows the leaves
And Winter ushers in the silence
That lives until put to rest by Spring
Who surrenders to the heat of Summer

And the sun still rises and sets
On an expectant and anticipating world
Even if it never rises in my heart

Because the fact is…
You went away and left me with a ghost that haunts
And calls to me in the dark
Reminding me with every sigh
All you were to me.