Nightfall

In twilight
leaves of fire fade
to pallid shades of gray
the chittering of nightly things
replaces sounds of day
Old bones that lay beneath the dirt
of soon forgotten lives
no longer speak of earthly worth
but wither, shrink and dry
The box encases naught but dust
within a span of age
Prayers of the living
to entrust the souls
to God to save

One Springtime

Years have passed
But something about springtime takes me there
That place in time
To quiet nights with only you
and mornings waking to the birds
Singing their happy songs
To something I can only call hope
Today was one of those days
When something about the breeze
Or the clouds
Or the sounds
Took me back
It’s an easy thing to do
Remembering you
And also the hardest
Losing you…
Despite it all,
I am grateful and like the springtime
Hopeful
That I feel the sunshine
Caress my skin
And awaken springtime once again
In me

Endings

His smile was beautiful
the kind of smile that keeps secrets
the kind every girl loves but none could hold
And when he kissed her
it was the most delicious of kisses
tasting mildly of vodka
and cigarette
and mint
The best she’d ever had
the best she ever would have
and the one kiss she wished to touch her lips
for all the days of her life
The one kiss she prayed would never end.
Only, like all great storybooks
it did
And like all great stories
she was left wanting to know more
of this strange and wonderful character
and how the story might go on
if only
if only

Tight Rope

It’s not so easy
But it’s easy to pretend
To be anyone at anytime but me
Off balance
Deliberate
Knowing that the wind can send me toppling

That the line can break
And leave me grasping hopelessly
Torn veil
Judgment passes through
As effortlessly as the sun blots out the stars upon rising

Twilight
Before the dawn of understanding
The voices in the background will always play the loop
It is my choice to listen
And let the tight rope hold me
Or simply let go

Sometimes you gotta just deal

I’m trying to tap into some issues I’ve kind of pushed aside because I’ve come to a point where I need to purge. Sadness has been a big one for me. Even when the sun shines, in my world, the sky is overcast. There are people I miss, experiences I haven’t had the opportunity to fully appreciate or feel. I have a sense that I need to allow myself to mourn, and in the process come to accept that my life may not be what I dreamed or desired, but through it all, I am here. I am alive and I know what it means to feel deeply. I know what it means to love fiercely, even when the odds stacked against me crashed down with such force that everything I had was torn away. Life. It’s a ride and I’m trying to get to that place where even when I’m tossed around like a bag in the wind, I am grateful. It begins, for me, with letting go and being comfortable being alone.

Untitled
This isn’t where I imagined I’d be at 7
Barbie and her white dress with its lace and frills
Promised me a future of happy ever after…not this.
The one I dreamed when the boy with the brown eyes and crooked smile
Easy laugh and nervous, almost careful conversation
Took my heart and every beat after
He said I was beautiful
His
Love
No word before or since has ever warmed my bones so deeply and completely
A vow, forever
Even with you gone, I feel it
Truth is, there was always something greater than us
Neither of us could handle the weight together
Years later I’m still getting used it
The quiet left in the aftermath of a storm
Picking up the pieces left behind
Alone

Happiness in simple things

Like finding just what you need in a place you maybe wouldn’t have thought to look. Inspired by the finding of a black bow tie at a thrift shop near downtown Indianapolis. It was the finishing touch to a Halloween costume and just as I began to think “we might need to go to a tuxedo shop somewhere and find a new one” there it was. I found it. All I needed was patience and the willingness to SEE. And all it cost, this bit of joy, was 40 cents!

Thrift
A dented gold bell tinkles a welcome
Where mounds of long forgotten and discarded things are sifted and sorted and hanged and shelved in order of size and type and color, though not so orderly that the undiscerning eye can find the value
But where small treasures nonetheless exist
where old things, used and dented and perhaps even abused things
When found by loving hands
Can be made new