You think you’ll find love
and you do for a moment
in the arms of a boy
with eyes that see into
the places other people won’t
or can’t
And you fashion an image
of happy ever after
very much like the movies
you watched with your grandpa
before he died
Only the rescue
never happens
the sun goes down
and rises without him
And you realize
you were holding
the life preserver all along…
heartbreak
Motions
My heart keeps drumming
along with the daily must do’s
Eat.
Stop.
Sleep.
Stop.
Work.
Stop.
Shower.
Stop.
Breathe.
When even combing my hair is a task
and looking in the mirror cuts like glass
and tears fall warm on my pillow shell
It beats.
Reminding me
that life goes on
Or rather
it’s just not time to die.
Penance
perhaps you are my secret
left in the darkness of a closet
filled with dry bones
that rattle like fallen leaves
on pavement on a crisp and windy day
yet unlike those drifting leaves
I can not sweep you away
because you are alive
with beating heart
a memory I revisit in the silent night
with hope
that I may somehow change the past
rinse you clean and bright as dawn
bring you back to Innocence
and into light
forgiven
Ghost
The taste of dark brew
conversations overheard
from a wooden chair at the coffee shop
where the clatter of glass
a laugh a smile
all of these are reminders
of what was had and what is lost
and of the fleeting, dizzying pace of time
all things go on
as I go on
your ghost
like fading photographs
my company
Gone
her pillow is her company
since illusion has dissolved
to reality
like darkness to dawn
an understanding
that you and she could never work
despite her desire
and she was forced to face
her neediness and loneliness
and in some instances complete lack of any sense of self so lost
she hates it all and how
you strung up her dead dignity
and let it swing in the wind to be ridiculed
she was alive
the girl who once colored rainbows in black and white lines
is unpacking dark emotions
this purge may not bring purity
but it has brought clarity
and she is glad you are gone
She writes
She scrawls out heartbreak
in black ink
across white space
a solitary blood-letting
rivulets mark the page
in messy loops and turns
until a clot forms
to bottle up her nerves
and she can breathe
one deep sigh
confirms catharsis…
for now
she is ok.
Eyes Closed
It’s raining and I find myself
listening to the wipers mechanical sound
As they shift back and forth across the glass
and marveling at the cast
the stoplight’s glow leaves on the road
Green means go
and so I drive knowing this way
will never lead to your heart
yellow, pause take stock and
grip the wheel I know the red light’s coming
stop or go?
Hit the gas…we all want what we can’t have
even when it means we might not make it through
T-boned in the intersection
it’s possible
Knowing this still
I careen recklessly forward
slick roads and all
Eyes closed
Cracked
The thing about walking on eggshells
is that there is no way to safely do so
without hearing the dreaded sound
of grinding underfoot
and feeling that inevitable feeling of failure besides…
looking back at the path and seeing
nothing but debris
the brokenness of us
I’d rather not do this today.
Moon
Love you are
a silver glow
a ball of light
in my night sky
I chase, you hide
behind clouds, with stars around you
and disappear with dawn
never mine
Your gravity holds me
I’m pushed out to sea
and drawn in once more
you wax and wane
and I
in the darkness you leave
look skyward
still…
Golifely 