I have always been my own worst critic. Many people can say that about themselves, I’m sure. When I was chatting with a friend the other day, I understood that I’m not alone in this. It’s not something we always talk about or share with one another. As for me, I’m forgetful, I lose my temper, I’m blind as a bat without my glasses, my hair gives me the blues because I look like an idiot no matter how I try to style it, I cuss, I sometimes feel really, really depressed, I am completely disorganized and it took me more than 4 years to complete my bachelor’s degree and more than 2 to finish my master’s because of it. Some days I feel like a crappy mom. Some days I’m on top of the world and I can’t really figure out why. These are just a few of the things I have picked on myself about, excluding the body issues I’ve had over the years. Maybe these things seem trivial. Perhaps they are in some ways.
Despite this I have lately become determined to love myself for who I am. The walking, talking contradiction that I am. I even went so far as to write about myself in the form of a poem. It’s a love note to myself. An awakening to the fact that I am who I am. Don’t get me wrong in thinking that the road to acceptance means I will stop trying to be better, though. Not so. I will continue to strive to be the best ME I can be. But I promise myself that I’m going to love ME every step of the way, to the best of my ability, from now on.
I don’t rhyme shit…
Rhythm in my world is inconsistent
Though I try to defy that part of me
Beauty hides a struggle
Skin deep can’t get deeper than dark
Dark can’t get colder than cold
Fire burns white hot
A mess, a jumble
A mystery to myself A
Rubic’s Cube minus a few colors
But with added dimensions
Where past and present collide
Where future holds…
Where silence screams
Where dreams shift into overdrive
And sometimes stall.
Yet…I remain in spirit unbreakable as the wind
Ever try to catch a breeze?
Damn right…I don’t rhyme shit.
Beautiful Remarkable Incredibly Average Me.
One thought on “A time for acceptance”
I too am my worst critic. I am also my greatest fan. Acceptance is a journey we should all embark on. A journey within. To learn who we are as individuals. The greatest feeling in the world is to honestly say to one’s self: “I truly know who I am!” Makes what was opaque transparent, what was complicated more simplistic. Thank-you for sharing your journey!